Things

 



I’ve spent most of today going through Marks things. It’s time. I’m nowhere close to the point I can go through his things and smile at the memories. Right now, everything still brings grief and tears. 

I’m putting things in different categories: Keep, Donation, disposal and “check with his family.” Anything I want to keep takes precedence over anyone else wanting them. Some items I am offering to specific family members as I know Mark wanted some things to go to specific people. 

I haven't started on Marks upstairs office. I’m going to try to start that tomorrow. That’s the plan anyway.  I have to get through today first. 

My life has changed in so many ways since May 2nd. Not only because I lost my soulmate and half of myself. Losing Mark forever changed me. I am no longer the person that I was. You can’t have your very soul shook and not be forever changed. Especially when hits keep coming. 

I don’t know if I like the person I am now or not. I don’t KNOW this person. That will come in time. What I do know is the new me is just as likely to walk away than stay and fight. Things and people who were once important simply don’t matter anymore. I’m just as likely to walk away from a person and relationship as I am to toss a picture or object. Cold? Maybe. Maybe I’m also tired of putting up with crap and the new me simply isn’t going to do it anymore. I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore. 

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