Travel Day

 

Today was our first travel day in almost a week and headed to the direction of home.  Since we started traveling on the 5th we have logged almost 1700 miles and still have 5 more days of travel before we’re done. I hope Rachel enjoyed this trip as much as she would have if Mark had been with us. 

I have mixed feelings about returning home. Home simply hasn’t felt like “home” since Mark died. It’s simply a house I sleep in, where my “stuff” is. I don’t know if it will ever feel like “home” again. Or if any place ever will. Mark left a big void, one that will never be filled. I still feel as if I’m merely existing. I’m trying to stay focused on family and completing the “chore” list Mark and I discussed last winter. I’m holding firm with not making the decision on keeping or selling the house until next summer. Hopefully by then I’ll be stronger and able to make the right decision. 

I have a feeling this fifth wheel will be spending a lot of time on the road this winter. Traveling alone doesn’t bother me. I just have to balance time at home for the business and the grief group this fall. Other than that there is no reason for me to sit in an empty house. 

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